To Walk Away From a Miracle
by Gillian Leigh
Summary: Scully asks Mulder the all-important question. I'm just filling in the blanks about the doubt Mulder might've felt. Doubt that might've made him almost walk away.


Title: To Walk Away From a Miracle  
  
Author: Gillian Leigh  
  
Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to the Almighty Chris Carter, and I am not nor have I ever been Chris Carter.  
  
Summary: Scully asks Mulder that all-important question... Just filling in the blanks...the doubt Mulder might've felt. Doubt that might've made him almost walk away.  
  
`Worried.  
  
Scully sounded worried when she called. Worn out, too, and a little anxious. She said she needed to talk to me. She went to the doctor...was it bad news? I could feel my heart racing as I hurried to her apartment.  
I knocked twice, two short, hard raps that made my knuckles sore, and what seemed like an eternity later, Scully answered the door. She smiled briefly at me, though her eyes didn't meet mine.  
"Is everything alright?" I asked, before she had even closed the door. Scully was obviously a little taken back by the fact that I came right out and addressed the subject at hand.  
"Yeah," she said, quietly. "I just...I went to the doctor today, and there's something I need to talk to you about..." I sank into her couch a split second before the invitation left her lips, and she sat down next to me. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. She paused and cleared her throat.  
"I went to see a specialist today... about my ova..." I felt slight relief. Perhaps it wasn't cancer after all. "And he..." I could see that she was smiling and on the verge of tears at the same time. "...He told me that they could be used to get me pregnant." I had to practically place a hand on my jaw to keep it from dropping.  
"Scully...that's...amazing." She smiled at me and placed both of her hands on one of mine.  
"I know," she said quietly. I continued to feel humbled.  
"Are- are you pregnant, Scully?" I asked, in all seriousness. She shook her head, her cheeks coloring slightly.  
"No...Well, not yet. The doctor told me that they could do in-vitro fertilization...but it would be rather difficult to perform the procedure with only an egg and no sperm." I nodded. She glanced up at me, making eye contact for the first time since I'd arrived.  
"And that's why I asked you here, Mulder. God... I never expected this to be so difficult..." She paused, and cleared her throat again, allowing her eyes to drop to the floor once more, before looking up and meeting my gaze. "Mulder, if I can have a baby, I want it to be yours."  
I could have sworn my heart stopped, in that instant. That's not a favor your best friend asks of you every day. She took my silence as a negative response, and I saw the tears well up in her eyes as she tried not to look too disappointed.  
"I understand...Mulder. I shouldn't have asked...I didn't mean..." I raised a hand to silence her.  
"I'm not saying no, Scully. I just... I need some time to think about it... This is a big deal. I just... I need some time to think..." She nodded, and I rose from her couch, and found I had trouble meeting her gaze. I took a step towards the door, and said,  
"I...um... I need to go." She simply nodded again, and just before I closed the door, I turned to her and offered a weak smile, which, though she tried, she couldn't quite return.  
I sat at home, contemplating what Scully had asked of me. She wanted me to father her child. That would change our relationship; that was a given, but for good or bad? I couldn't ruin what we already had, as much as I would love to be a part of that for her. So I considered my two choices; to be a part of, or walk away from, a miracle.'  
  
Sitting Indian-style on the floor of the bedroom, Mulder smiled as he read this journal entry. That was eight months ago. The in-vitro may have failed, but by God, nature prevailed for the two of them. Scully saw his lopsided grin and walked over to him, tilting her head sideways before lowering herself to the floor with great difficulty.  
"Whatcha reading?" He smiled, placing a hand on her very swollen belly, and rubbing in circles.  
"Something I wrote a long time ago, before I almost walked away from a miracle."  
  
-the end-  
  
Author's Notes: I do what I can.:-p Shippy-fluff all the way, baaaayyy- beeee! :-D 


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